I am looking for the saddest thing, which once found
will never be lost again, because it will follow me
- Seductive sadness winks at me

In I called, called to the lashing waves, the end ties with the beginning.

Oscar Hahn's poem 'Places are neither here no there' on wishing hard. In 'The center of the bedroom', 'something' that takes a form but has been present even before identified as something - 'the sad snow this year's dirty snow'.